


Casing The Joint

by Haywire



Category: Corner Gas
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2853584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haywire/pseuds/Haywire





	Casing The Joint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icepixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icepixie/gifts).



Davis wandered through the aisles of Corner Gas, looking all over the place and sizing things up.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I moved the Twinkies over to the next shelf, on the other side there.” Brent said, peering over the top of his comic book.

“That’s not what I’m here for, Brent.” Davis replied while moving to said aisle and picking up a few packs of Twinkies nevertheless. “I’m here on a stake out.”

“A stake out? What, is someone planning to rob the place?” He put the comic down and startled Wanda, who’d been dozing in her chair next to the cash register. She snapped to attention, sitting straight up and opening her eyes wide.

“I’m awake!” she yelled, looking around and relaxing when she saw no one was looking at her. “And all of a sudden I’m craving a steak for some reason. Huh.”

“I am, I’m casing the joint, to use the lingo.” Davis explained with a wide grin. “Police jargon, sorry if it goes over your head.”

“One, that’s more like 50’s jargon that everyone knows, and two, in case you forgot, you’re a police officer. Your job is to stop people from doing things _exactly like that._ ” Brent replied.

“I know that, Brent, but it’s for Karen.” he explained.

“Let her rob her own damn stores, if she needs the money that badly.” Wanda said.

“No, no, that’s not it at all!”

“So you need the money, then?” asked Brent. “Do you owe Karen money or something, because I really don’t see the connection here.”

“It has nothing to do with money!” Davis said, then pausing for a second. “Well, ok, it’s a robbery and I guess that has everything to do with money, but that’s not it. She’s just been, I don’t know, feeling down in the dumps lately when it comes to her job.”

“So… you want to give her money to cheer her up?” said Wanda, going out on a limb. “Because there are other, much more legal ways to go about doing that, by the by.”

“I want to stage a robbery and have her respond to it, to cheer her up.” Davis explained. “It’d mean so much to her, and there wouldn’t actually be any theft involved, no one would lose any money.” he hastily added.

“Right, the only risk is that of someone getting shot and killed. No big deal.” Brent said.

“I’m way ahead of you on that one, Brent. I was going to replace her bullets with blanks.” Davis said, tapping the side of his head with a finger.

“Do you actually _have_ blanks at the police station?” Wanda asked increduously.

“Well, no, but you can just stick anything in there and it’s ok I think. Empty shells, for example, so I can just fire off a few rounds and use those shells, yeah.” he said, thinking on the fly.

“You’ll discharge your weapon on purpose just to get the shells? Davis, and I ask this with all due respect,” Brent said, holding up a hand to silence Wanda before she could interject at that point. “but have you been drinking?”

“Ha ha, funny guy.” Davis said, then he sighed. “Though maybe you’re right, maybe this is a dumb idea.”

“You think?!” Wanda said before Brent could stop her.

Lacey walked into the store then, entering from The Ruby’s side of the building. “You guys, you’ll never guess what just happened!”

Before anyone could reply, Karen entered behind her, her hand on a little boy’s shoulder. The kid didn’t look happy and was slouched over, his hands in his pockets.

“I caught this little guy shoplifting from The Ruby, trying to take change out of the tip jar.” Karen said. “So he’s ‘under arrest’ and I need to take him in for booking.” she said with a wink to her partner.

“Yes!” Davis exclaimed, making everyone turn to look at him. “I mean, that’s a very serious crim there, little man. You could go to jail for a long time you know.”

The kid’s upper lip began to quiver and he looked like he was about to cry. Karen scowled at Davis and patted him on the shoulder.

“There, there, Timmy, it’s ok. I won’t let Officer Meany Pants over there throw you in jail, but you do have to learn a lesson from this, yeah?” She walked him outside, swatting at Davis while whispering ‘what is wrong with you?!’ as she brushed past him on the way out.

“Well then, that solves that! Nothing like a collar and a little good cop, bad cop to brighten your day, right?” he said, placing the Twinkies on the counter.

“Right. Those are on the house, Officer Meany Pants, in exchange for you not casing the joint.”

“Works for me!” Davis said, beaming. He took the Twinkies and left, whistling as he exited the gas station.

“What was that all about?” Lacey asked. “Or do I want to know?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Brent replied with a shake of his head.

“Let’s just say Hank might have some new competition for the role of town idiot.” Wanda muttered, leaning back down in her chair and propping her head up with one hand.


End file.
